Nicely written story, Lilith. It echoes my own sentiments nearly exactly. I've been an atheist for more than 50 years. I expect that being dead is like one's experience under general anesthesia: nothingness. You're awake and present one minute, and the next minute (in your mind) you're waking up from the anesthesia. Except I won't wake up.

No heaven, no hell, no judgment, no reuniting with people I may or may not care to see again, no pain, no ecstasy, no punishment for my "sins" (or more accurately, my mistakes and the times I didn't do or say the right thing). I'll just be gone and I won't have any awareness of that. That doesn't frighten me.

If that's the case, then as you say, this is the only life we know we have. So let's make the best of it. Let's be kind more often than we're mean or indifferent. Let's truly follow the ancient Golden Rule. Let's try every day to make someone else's life a bit happier or easier. And I plan to drink all my good wine and eat all the good chocolate before I check out.